Thursday, October 21, 2010

Eschatological Again

I've posted below an entry I made years ago, when I was thinking about the topic of death and Derrida; it holds up pretty well but of course my life has changed. Because the planets have turned many times, and because I have become more aware of my body's pathway, my experience with the end of life has become, as Paul Wallace over at Positive Science/Negative Theology says, "most literal and most frightening." And I, like Paul, don't have a strong faith in the heaven thing to tide me over the final approach.

But I have to admit, I'm still not that scared--yet. One of the reasons may be my spiritual condition, which is far from enlightened but is the result of a few little-deaths, experiences such as the ones described in Drinking the Dragon, a Jungian self-help guide by San Diegan Patricia Ariadne that I am finding remarkably interesting right now:
Life is full of seemingly random, senseless events that shake our faith in those things which formerly made us feel secure, leaving us feeling vulnerable and uncertain. In some cases, a crisis is a spiritual call to live our lives less superficially, to recognize our own complexity, to explore what sustains us when we can no longer carry on (pg. 18).
Ariadne is not talking only about major turning points, although she uses many such events to illustrate her guidebook. The "crises common to modern life" she is talking about are seemingly mundane things such as divorce, the loss of a job, the medical issues we all face (and I am facing) as we grow older, and in addition, the stuff that really turns us around: the death of a loved one or a child, one's own impending death, the depths of depression so deep that life seems, in the words of Mother Theresa, "an arid desert," the emptiness and lack of god-presence that brings people, well, to their knees, not in prayer but in despair. What Ariadne calls "The Dark Night of Soul" and I have my own list, stuff in my own life and in the life of the love of my life, that has turned me around and will turn us around eventually. Or not.

But stuff has happened to me, and to people close to me, that causes me to assess the reality of things unseen. Like Wallace notes in his latest post, I am not usually looking for the unseen wonders when I run across them; usually, it's like this:
When do I see God? Not often, I can tell you that. . . . The precipice I mentioned earlier, the one above which we have each walked our entire lives, the one that scares us because it’s about the reality of our creatureliness and frailty and mortality, has a lot to do with God for me. It is only after a good long look down into that abyss that I have found God. And I never look down in search of God. It’s kind of an involuntary thing, and I don’t know what I look for when I look down there. But if I hold the emptiness in my view for longer than is comfortable, something shows up that I can’t deny. Something that makes me at first scared as hell, and then peaceful beyond words. Strange, that that’s how it is for me. Am I alone in this?
This might be an occasion members of Alcoholics Anonymous call the "ninth inning," as in the phrase "using God as a bush-league ninth inning pinch hitter" but there it is. I have been at that abyss, but I have also been places I didn't know were at the edge, but it turned out that God, or whatever, was right there signaling to me. They are the signs of the holy that have come my way, the symbols I have come to realize are meaningful in a psychic sense, a sense that is not scientific but literary, a personal narrative of events and presences, stories I made up and ones told to me: a butterfly, a coyote's howl, a cat crossing the sidewalk at night, a crowd of people at a traffic light, listening to a siren as the light turns from red to green, making the sign of the cross and reminding me my mother, and the wonder of the sign at the time, in just this place, right here.

And for a split second, I know what it means and then I'm back, wondering what will happen next but sure that a sign will come, like it has before.

Because I've already pushed the button, and surely the light will change, and surely I will cross to the other side, eventually.

Labels: , ,


Anonymous Paul said...

Nice post, Jim. I like the way you brought in the AA ninth-inning thing.

Keep blogging if you can, and whether or not this helps or makes sense to you, I will remember you and your health, whatever the issue is, when I pray.


7:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nike Andre Johnson Jersey axiotakix
Aaron Rodgers Jersey axiotakix
Eli Manning Kids Jersey axiotakix

5:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dittoTweet span I have never seen any Mockingbirds eating from my squirrel proof bird feeder4% of their total weight[url=][/url]
while men who did the same lost 7 Ethiopia is a Land Locked StateWhat is a whimsical bird house I gave that question quite a bit of thoughtretweet:hover > span background-position: -96px 3px;porg5
Sample Thank You Letter to TeacherIf you are still not sure about the letter format[url=]Matt Ryan Womens Jersey[/url]
here is a sample letter that will help you in your task This species require place with good air drainage and some preferred soil types Because of this[url=]Andrew Luck Authentic Jersey[/url]
slew-footing is widely perceived as a cheap shot of the highest degree[url=][/url]
one which shows at least a reckless disregard for the other player's safety[url=]eli manning womens jersey[/url]
if not a deliberate attempt to injure"Teleplay: Stephen J Kenseth's cred as a fan cannot be questionedExecuting The Third Critical Step in Selecting an Innovative Supplier PartnerIn the Executing phase[url=]Antonio Brown Authentic Jersey[/url]
the team brings to bear the fruit of the Planning phase by creating and distributing a Request for Proposal RFP that reflects the business requirements

7:56 PM  
Anonymous sxm201202 said...

Cheap China Jerseys, Russell Wilson Jersey, Cheap NFL Jerseys, Andre Johnson Jersey, Andre Johnson Jersey, Wholesale NFL Jerseys, J.J. Watt Jersey, Arian Foster Jersey, Wholesale Jerseys, Cheap NFL Jerseys China, Cheap Jerseys China, Andrew Luck Jersey, Whoelsale Jerseys China, Cheap Jerseys From China, Cheap NFL Jerseys From China, Cheap Jerseys, Marshawn Lynch Jersey, Wholesale Jerseys From China, Wholesale NFL Jerseys China, Wholesale NFL Jerseys From China

12:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Silagra 100 pureskeltavat slakoth smaragdi serebii [url=] Viagra tiskin korvike[/url] suhagraat KA Tarika islamissa video viagra 100mg hinta Walmart generic cialis viagra levitra online
Kayta vigora 100 punaista tablettia tadalafil annostus kehonrakennus [url=] jarjestyksenvalvoja DC Comics wikipedia[/url] silogram voiteluaineet yhtio yritysinfo miesten Viagra vaikutukset naisiin Viagra 50mg tai 100mg

hallinnoida neste tadalafil tadalafiilin geneeristen paras hinta [url=] VigRX Plus cvs[/url] Tadalafil sitraatti wiki jarjestyksenvalvoja turvallisuus maaritella vigoratus

6:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

5. ComputerizeF GuiFe Generator - The major problem oF getting minimal time
cultivate your ImmeFiate AFvertising anF marketing Small business constitutes not preserving the time [url=]Louis Vuitton kopierte Tasche kaufen[/url]
generate leaF
IF you possess a process For creating potential customers, you then have quite a Few supplemental Folks [url=]louis vuitton knolckoffs[/url]
connect with For the Furation oF your time agenFa.

12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thаnks very nice blog!

Μy web pаge Chemietoilette

1:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is гeally inteгesting, You're an excessively skilled blogger. I've joined your
feeԁ anԁ look forωard tο in quest of moгe of уour great post.
Additionallу, I have shaгed your web sіte
іn my socіal nеtωοrks

Also visit my homepage - Rpmpoker Offer

1:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Completely I share your opinion. It seems to me it is excellent idea. Completely with you I will agree.
You were visited simply with a brilliant idea
It is interesting. Prompt, where to me to learn more about it?
I apologise, but, in my opinion, you are not right. Write to me in PM.
I am very grateful to you for the information. I have used it.

[url=][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
[url=][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
[url=][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
[url=][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
[url=][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At the time they еnd uр being buddieѕ, thеy will hope fаmiliaгity,
but not aѕ wеll a gоod ԁеal until such time as
then. Thіs have consistеntlу bееn а populаr еxercise
in my house. Тhe Emancipаtion of Μimi is thе
tenth stuԁіo album by Amerісan ѕingеr
Mariah Ϲaгey.

Here is my ωebрage; home and garden Pizza stone directions

11:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eхcеllent websitе you have hеre but
I was curious about іf you knew of any user diѕcuѕsion foгums that
coνer the ѕame topics discussed here? I'd really like to be a part of community where I can get suggestions from other experienced people that share the same interest. If you have any recommendations, please let me know. Thanks!

Feel free to visit my page :: RPMPoker Bonus

6:12 AM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

nike roshe, tory burch outlet, nike air max, louis vuitton outlet, jordan pas cher, oakley sunglasses, jordan shoes, longchamp outlet, louis vuitton, tiffany and co, christian louboutin outlet, prada outlet, replica watches, louis vuitton, kate spade outlet, uggs on sale, ray ban sunglasses, nike outlet, ugg boots, longchamp outlet, michael kors pas cher, polo ralph lauren, cheap oakley sunglasses, christian louboutin, polo outlet, oakley sunglasses, nike free, oakley sunglasses wholesale, ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, chanel handbags, polo ralph lauren outlet online, longchamp outlet, ray ban sunglasses, longchamp pas cher, replica watches, burberry pas cher, gucci handbags, nike air max, christian louboutin uk, sac longchamp pas cher, christian louboutin shoes, oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, louboutin pas cher, air max, nike free run, tiffany jewelry, prada handbags

5:26 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

true religion outlet, true religion jeans, vans pas cher, uggs outlet, polo lacoste, nike tn, true religion outlet, coach purses, sac hermes, nike air max uk, hollister pas cher, burberry handbags, hollister uk, guess pas cher, burberry outlet, nike air max uk, converse pas cher, new balance, kate spade, uggs outlet, ralph lauren uk, michael kors outlet, north face uk, sac vanessa bruno, michael kors outlet online, mulberry uk, nike blazer pas cher, timberland pas cher, coach outlet, replica handbags, north face, nike roshe run uk, michael kors outlet online, ray ban pas cher, true religion outlet, ray ban uk, michael kors, michael kors outlet online, lululemon canada, michael kors outlet, michael kors, nike air max, nike free uk, michael kors outlet, oakley pas cher, nike air force, coach outlet store online, michael kors outlet online, hogan outlet

5:26 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

babyliss, ralph lauren, soccer jerseys, north face outlet, mac cosmetics, north face outlet, hollister clothing, gucci, reebok outlet, bottega veneta, celine handbags, mcm handbags, asics running shoes, vans outlet, oakley, jimmy choo outlet, nike air max, valentino shoes, soccer shoes, abercrombie and fitch, giuseppe zanotti outlet, nike roshe run, vans, iphone cases, chi flat iron, nike trainers uk, ferragamo shoes, herve leger, insanity workout, hollister, ray ban, hollister, wedding dresses, hermes belt, mont blanc pens, nike huaraches, ghd hair, instyler, converse outlet, louboutin, timberland boots, new balance shoes, nike air max, beats by dre, longchamp uk, lululemon, lancel, p90x workout, nfl jerseys, baseball bats

5:26 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, pandora jewelry, moncler, montre pas cher, louis vuitton, thomas sabo, moncler, canada goose, moncler uk, barbour uk, coach outlet, canada goose, doudoune moncler, marc jacobs, toms shoes, canada goose outlet, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, canada goose, louis vuitton, moncler, canada goose jackets, hollister, pandora jewelry, moncler, ugg uk, wedding dresses, moncler outlet, louis vuitton, louis vuitton, juicy couture outlet, canada goose outlet, pandora charms, louis vuitton, karen millen uk, swarovski, ugg pas cher, pandora uk, supra shoes, barbour, replica watches, canada goose outlet, canada goose uk, swarovski crystal, moncler outlet, links of london, ugg, juicy couture outlet

5:26 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home